Kia Ora!
Welcome back to my blog!
Today, I've decided to post a blog about my writing!
So, this week we wrote a 'moment in time' long write.
(That explains the title. Y'know, a moment in time is always in a tense. Well, like future tense, past tense, and present tense... in case you didn't know!)
We got to base our writing off of one of these pictures:
(Some of us decided to sort of join them together. Like Idk, once you walk into one part of the garden, you carry on walking to the other place.)
Anyways, my piece of writing is down below.
Sorry if it's short, it's just that when I'm writing a moment in time, I never really know what to write!!
So yeah, it's probably one of my weaknesses.
Anyways, please read, comment, and enjoy!
(A couple of questions for you. Did you like it? What do you think I should improve on? Leave it down in the comments! :3)
Hi Hana
ReplyDeleteI really liked your writing. You were able to paint a lovely picture in my mind. I really felt like I was there. It wasn't too short. You didn't need to mention that in your preamble. I didn't think it was short at all. Only advise of the positive. Rather than saying it was short (and it wasn't), you could say it got to the point straight away. Good work :-)